


Simulated Humanity

by MemeMachine562



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Burns, Erets here what do you expect, Fluffy but foreboding, God Connor, Guilt, Mentioned Dream, Mentioned Foolish, Mentioned Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Toby Smith | Tubbo, Regret, Technoblade Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), They are made of guilt, They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Time Travelling Karl Jacobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29888946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemeMachine562/pseuds/MemeMachine562
Summary: Connor knew he wasn’t that threatening.People tended to overlook him, dressed in a sonic onesie, he really wasn’t intimidating. And while he wished he could say that it was a ploy, something to get their guard down, the simple truth was that it wasn’t. Connor just really liked sonic. He said as much to anyone who questioned his style choices.So no, Conner wasn’t seen as a threat, probably for good reason - because he wasn’t - he was seen as soft and cuddly and warm. Which he was! All of that was true.He just so happened to also be a timeless god, someone who existed in every second of every possible future.Or; Connor always helps his friends, no matter what.Or Or; That latest Tales Of The SMP implied that Connor was either immortal or a Time Traveler, this is my take.
Relationships: Connor | ConnorEatsPants & Karl Jacobs, Connor | ConnorEatsPants & Ranboo, Connor | ConnorEatsPants & TheEret, Connor | ConnorEatsPants & TommyInnit
Comments: 7
Kudos: 116





	Simulated Humanity

“I’m everywhere and I’m nowhere. Every second of every day of every year, I’m there somewhere, and I can be anywhere. I never leave my friends, so you got someone in your corner for every second of forever. Remember that.”

____________________________

Connor knew he wasn’t that threatening.

People tended to overlook him, dressed in a sonic onesie, he really wasn’t intimidating. And while he wished he could say that it was a ploy, something to get their guard down, the simple truth was that it wasn’t. Connor just really liked sonic. He said as much to anyone who questioned his style choices.

So no, Conner wasn’t seen as a threat, probably for good reason - because he wasn’t - he was seen as soft and cuddly and warm. Which he was! All of that was true.

He just so happened to also be a timeless god, someone who existed in every second of every possible future. ‘Connor’ was just his latest jaunt into humanity, and he was quite enjoying it so far.

And if Dream raised an eyebrow every time Connor let himself be taken hostage, if Philza chuckled at his bright words and hopeful demeanor, if Foolish sighed when he tripped over his own feet, it didn’t mean anything.

Because at that moment, he was Connor, he was human, and he really didn’t feel like breaking that facade.

And for all the shouting Dream did about his power, for all the fear Philza gathered, for all the grandiose of Foolish’s builds, they missed out on some of the great parts of humanity.

They had never baked bread with Niki, They hadn’t explored with Eret, hadn’t taken sunset strolls with Tubbo and played guitar with Wilbur, they hadn’t lived. Not really.

They had all their power, they had their fame and their riches, but Connor had life, he had humanity.

And he was never giving that up.

________________________

It was a cold day, almost frigid, and snow fell in flurries. Really, Connor was quite enjoying himself, despite the rather cold conditions. The sky was bright and clear, the air crisp and clean, what wasn’t there to enjoy?

Connor was walking along the main path, not bothering to step over the blood vines, they wriggled away from him anyway. He smiled at that, they were running from him.

He kept walking, until he was relatively far away from civilization. He strolled through a forest, admiring the frosted trees as he went. 

He had missed this, just . . . taking a moment. Adventure and conflict was fun and all, but Connor really enjoyed exploring and relaxing.

It was because of how spaced out he was, that Connor didn’t notice when he stepped directly onto a patch of ice. He did notice, however, when his feet slipped from under him and he went head over heels.

He let out a oomph when he hit the ground, in no way harmed, but the wind was thoroughly knocked out from under him. He sat dazed on the ground for a few seconds.

“Connor?” A voice broke through the silence, “You alright there?”

“I-Uh,” Connor craned his head, smiling slightly when he saw The Wanderer - no, Karl, he went by Karl didn’t he - standing over him, eyes filled with concern, “I didn’t notice the ice, is all.”

He tried to stand up again, but lost his footing and fell right back to the ground, thudding against the ice. Letting out a huff of exasperation, Connor crossed his arms and glared at the ground. Though the effect was ruined slightly by the fact he was still splayed out on ice.

Connor jumped slightly when a hand entered his vision, following it up to the person connected to it, he saw Karl smiling lightly at him, good hearted amusement in his eyes.

“Here,” Karl offered his hand to Connor, “Happens to the best of us.”

“Thanks,” He smiled gratefully, taking the hand and standing unsteadily.

“It’s no problem,” Karl stepped back, but not before Connor noticed that his hand was shaking violently, “You should be more careful, the ice is slippery.”

And that was all well and good, but something was clearly wrong, and Connor could see it even with human eyes. From the white strip in his hair to the bone deep tiredness that spoke of exhaustion far deeper than physical, Karl was clearly in pain, and Connor felt the need to help.

“Heh, yeah.” Connor started, “Hey, are you alright, Karl?”

Karl closed his eyes for a moment, before shrugging and waving a hand in a dismissive gesture. A smile that looked more like a grimace on his face.

“I’m fine,” He said, even as his hands shook while he waved, “Just a bit tired.”

Just a bit tired, he said, as if Connor couldn’t see the way that time unraveled around him, like Connor couldn't see the cracks in his mind. Couldn't see the decay that had taken root in his soul.

Time travel needed a vessel, Karl had become one, but no player was built to hold the power of eternity inside their being. Karl was decaying, his soul cracking and his body failing. 

But ‘Connor’ wasn’t supposed to know any of that, so he didn’t. 

“Well, if you're sure,” Connor just nodded, masking his concern, “Thanks for the help!”

“You know,” Karl seemed to be considering something, “My library is near here, if you ever need anything, I’ll be here.”

“Oh!” Connor was a bit surprised, he knew how important Karl’s library was to him, “Thanks for trusting me, I appreciate it.”

“Ah, well,” Karl smiled warmly, “You seem like the right sort, I just . . . have a feeling about you.”

Time sense, Connor was familiar to Karl because he was in every second, and Karl had been to so many different times that he would be remembered. But Karl didn’t know any of that, so Connor only laughed, and Karl laughed with him.

And as Karl walked away, Connor ran over the things he knew. The pain and loss and fear that Karl was destined to face.

And what Karl didn’t know was that he had just won himself a powerful ally in his fight against time, and what he didn’t know was that Connor would do anything for his friends.

Connor promised safety for the man so brave and the man so kind. Destined to die a lonely death, but Connor didn’t agree with destiny, and no friend of his died alone.

Connor would make sure of it, Karl’s passing would be warm and safe, he would fade in his lovers arms.

That was the most he could promise.

A gift, from the God of Endings.

\----------------------

_ And years later, a weary world wanderer would gasp his last clutched tight in arms he couldn’t quite remember, but were familiar and trusted, and he would feel time shifting to make room for his new end, and he would go out - not with a bang - but with a soft sigh. _

________________________

The rain was pouring down, soaking Connor to the bone. Despite the implications of that statement, he was actually quite enjoying himself. Connor had always loved the rain, even before he had taken a human form. It was something special, watching the sky open up and flood the world. He had even made a few worlds where it never stopped raining, just to see the once dry land fill with water.

It seemed, however, that not everyone shared his opinion, because ducked inside of Fundy’s ice cream shop was Ranboo. He didn’t look very happy, shooting dirty looks at the sky every once and awhile and clutching at his suit, pulling it tighter. Clearly, it wasn’t doing much against the cold, Connor was kinda wondering why Ranboo didn’t have warmer clothes, he did live in the arctic, didn’t he?

Connor walked over to the hybrid, a bit worried.

“Hey Ranboo,” Ranboo’s eyes snapped down from where they had been fixed on the sky, focusing just over Connor’s shoulder, “How are you doing?”

“I’d be doing a lot better if the rain would stop,” He shot a dirty look at the sky, “I’ve been stuck here for ages.”

“Can you not just . . . walk through the rain?” Because it was customary, and there was no reason for Connor to know the answer, “And just head home?”

“Nope,” Ranboo let out a low sigh, “Enderman, I left my water proof armor at home. I didn’t think I would need it.”

Looking closer, Connor could see burns speckled around Ranboo’s hands and face. There were probably more under the suit, because it hardly looked dry.

“I bet the rain will clear up soon,” He reassured, waving his hand, “Don’t worry!”

As he spoke, he pushed the clouds away, clearing the sky. Ranboo looked up in shock at the abrupt change, before turning narrowed eyes towards Connor, filled with a fair amount of guarded curiosity.

“That was you,” He spoke slowly, “Wasn’t it?”

Connor didn’t answer, he just chuckled lightly and turned to leave.

“Thank you.” Came a murmur from behind him, then Ranboo quickly left.

And Connor felt sympathy fill him, because that boy was not built to last, and he knew it. Maybe, he pushed some things around, he could make Ranboo’s remaining time that little bit better. 

It was the least he could do.

\--------------------

_ And when The Hybrid returned home, he was greeted by his closest friends, and they helped him treat his burns and gave him blankets to warm up, he wondered what he had done to deserve it. _

________________________

Today, Connor knew, wasn’t supposed to be a good one. Because it was unfortunately one of Erets bad day’s. When old wounds were refreshed and they drowned in remorse and guilt, shut off from those they had wronged.

But for the first time, Connor was going to try to help. It hadn’t occurred to him earlier - Erets bad days were practically a part of life, at this point - but he really felt he might be able to do something for his friend.

That's how Connor found himself walking through Eret’s castle, brushing his fingers along the stone bricks as he went, leaving behind a shimmer on what he touched.

He walked into the throne room, the sight that greeted him sending pangs of sadness through him. Eret was sitting on their throne, knees tucked under their chin with their sunglasses discarded. Their usual bright white eyes were glowing dimly, their crown held in their hands, dangling limply.

Overall, they didn’t look good, but he hadn’t expected them to.

“Hey, Eret!” Connor called out, Eret flinched hard, shoving their glasses back on - they relaxed ever so slightly when they saw him, Connor could appreciate his non threatening nature at times like this - and moved to sit on their throne properly.

“Connor,” Their voice was dull and low, “Did you need something?”

“Can’t I just want to visit my friend?” Connor questioned, moving further into the room.

“I suppose,” Eret sounded a bit confused, “Am I your friend?”

“Course you are!” Connor smiled reassuringly, “Would I be here if you weren’t?”

“I guess not,” They hung their head, “You shouldn’t, be my friend, that is.”

“Why not?” Connor questioned, tilting his head.

“I’ll just hurt you,” Eret tapped their knuckles against their throne, seemingly unconsciously, “I always do.”

“You wouldn’t,” You couldn’t, is what he doesn’t say, because he knows they wouldn’t understand it, “I trust you.”

And - oh, poor choice of words, they only served to make Eret flinch, Connor felt the urge to give them a hug, but managed to fight it off.

“Are you done with your ruler duties?” Connor questioned lightly, pushing the conversation away from what was so clearly a sore subject. He should have known better.

“I - yes, I am.” Eret confirmed, they eyed Connor suspiciously, “Why?”

“How would you like to hang out for a bit?” Connor gestured out the door, smiling, “We can go exploring!”

Connor could feel Eret's hesitance, so he pushed comforting thoughts towards them. Reminded them of Wilbur and Tommy’s forgiveness, and how the revolution had been won regardless. He could feel them relax slightly, then they were nodding.

“Sure,” They smiled slightly, standing up “Might as well.”

“Nice!” Connor jumped up and down a bit, “Let’s go!”

\----------------------

_ Later that night, as The Ruler lay underneath the stars next to Connor, they let out a sigh, one of relief and contentment, because for the first time in a long time, they felt safe. Even if they didn’t know why. _

________________________

Connor was a bit bored when it happened, if he was being honest. When Tommy and Techno ran up to him - where had they even come from - with Tommy’s blinding smile and the mischief that danced through his eyes, and Techno’s knowing look, Connor could tell he was in for a ride.

“Hello Big Man!” Tommy shouted, jumping up and down a bit, “You’re a hostage now!”

“Oh -” Connor was a bit lost, he would admit, “I am?”

“Yup!” he ran forward and tied a fishing line - a fishing line! That wouldn’t even hold a mortal - around Connors arm, “We need to get The Blade’s stuff back, and we need something to bargain with.”

Well, he guessed that made some sort of sense. Though, them choosing him was a bit odd.

“I’m not even a L’manberg citizen,” He pointed out, “Why would they trade for me?”

“Tubbo wouldn’t just leave you,” Tommy’s eyes turned guarded, “He’ll help.”

Connor settled for raising an eyebrow at Tommy, before looking to Techno. He found something he wasn’t expecting in Techno’s eyes, understanding, as well as an unspoken promise. If he wanted them to go, Techno knew that they wouldn’t have a choice but to leave. He was assuming that if their kidnapping worked, it meant Connor was onboard.

And, well, they were his friends! If playing hostage would help them, he couldn’t see the harm in it.

“I guess I don’t have much say in it,” He fibbed, walking along Tommy as they moved towards L’manberg. Techno chuckled a bit at the veiled joke - it had gone entirely over Tommy’s head - and Connor found himself wondering how Techno knew about him. He had gone to great lengths to appear human, so how - 

Oh. He realized suddenly that it made perfect sense for Techno to know, Techno, Philza’s chosen. Techno, with his semi omnipotence - if only his Chat would work with him - a wasted opportunity, but one that led to Techno knowing just a bit more than he was due. A little more observant, a little stronger. 

Connor sent a small smile at Techno, a reassurement that he wasn’t about to get smitten by some vengeful god. Really, he was the farthest thing from vengeful, despite his godly nature. Techno nodded back.

“Here, Big Man,” Tommy gestured at a small hole he had built and lined with cobblestone, “Get in!”

“Why?” Connor looked at the hole, more curious then concerned.

“Well, you gotta be in some type of danger!” Tommy smiled, but it held no malice, “Not a proper hostage situation otherwise, yeah?”

Connor could tell that Tommy very rarely took hostages, because this was the weirdest thing he had ever gone through. Still, he jumped down into the hole, only to get water poured over his head.

He wasn’t even upset by the new development, the water was cool against his skin, and slid down his throat feeling and functioning like air. There weren’t really any negative effects, besides maybe the fact that his onesie was soaked.

But all that was a very godlike way of thinking, and he wasn’t a god at that moment. No, he was Connor, and Connor couldn’t breath underwater.

He started coughing and spluttering obligingly, making a real show of it. After a period of time, the block that had been holding him down was removed, and he surfaced quickly, taking in deep breaths of air as if it felt different then the water he had been submerged in.

Looking up, Connor was greeted by Tommys concerned face, he even looked a bit guilty, but Tommy hadn’t even scratched Connor, so he didn’t need to feel bad about it. He just smiled at Tommy, reassurance in his eyes, until Tommy got the message. He wasn’t hurting Connor, he didn’t need to stop, Connor wanted to help.

And when they brought him to meet Tubbo, still tied to a fishing rod, Connor didn’t say anything. He heaved and acted like he had been put through the wringer, when really, he could have run a mile.

Success came when Tubbo folded, returning the stolen goods to Techno, and Connor cheered internally. He smiled and laughed and congratulated his kidnappers, just happy that their scheme had worked.

And when they walked away towards the tundra, Connor only grinned at their retreating figures, and counted the days hostage mission a success.

\--------------------

_ And later, when The Soldier was sitting in his bed, he wondered about Connor, about his oddities and his resilience, but shrugged it off in favour of eating another gapple - happily unaware. _

**Author's Note:**

> Bro that new Tales Of The SMP got me feelin a sort of way, so here's some Connor! This is the first time I've ever written him, so sorry if it's a bit OOC, I tried lmao.  
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
